Definition: Invalidation-to make nothing of, nullify; to weaken or make
powerless; to deny existence of...
There are many definitions. For the following article, you can use my
summarized definition above.
How Subtle Can Invalidation Be?
Has the fact you are present ever been ignored by someone?
Suppose you are a doorman at a fancy hotel. Your job is to open the door
for the good people seeking to enter or leave.
Most people will say thank you or acknowledge your actions in some way.
The generous might even tip you a few dollars.
But what about the people that do not even notice you are there? They
seem to expect the door to open and crediting anyone for helping is beneath
Their actions say you are not important enough to even notice!
Have you been invalidated? Did they do so intentionally? My guess is yes to
both those questions!
Would you like to handle this? Try greeting them enthusiastically. They may
not respond but you got to them! That is better than them ignoring you and
putting you at effect.
By originating a communication, you have assumed the cause point!
An aside on this section, mom and child walk up, do you greet mom and
ignore the child? That kid may be your boss in a couple years! Be aware of
ignoring little people!
Invalidation via Communication, Lack of
Have you ever been telling a story and the person listening always has a
bigger or better story?
Have you ever been telling a story and the other person seemed to not hear
you or said “Whatever” to dismiss your story?
Have you ever pointed out a fact and the person responded with a grunt or
another sound that did not seem to agree or disagree?
Or you're pointing out an observation and the person tells you how that is
probably not the way it is?
I know a guy that was doing these type things to me.
At first I didn't spot his actions. I did get ill for over a week.
Once I spotted this, he ceased to create negative effects on me. I also, now,
assert my data and do not expect agreement. I've spoken so that is the way
Walking Away from You
Have you gone to the store and had your companion get out and walk away
leaving you still at the car? This is not a case of not noticing you not
following, this is a repeated action of walking off and leaving you!
Have you ever gotten into the store and had a person walk off and leave
you standing where you were without a word?
Does this say, you are not important enough to have in their company?
I was getting this from the same person I noted above.
He was and is still telling me my ideas are probably not correct. Never an
out right disagreement. Always a question of my knowledge or opinion.
He was telling me I'm not important!
Can Invalidation Make You Ill?
My grandson came home from school because he was sick, throwing up. He
had been subject to “jokes” another name for invalidation... I wrote an article
on that so I'm not going to retell it here: Beyond Human, Handling an Ill Boy.
In my case with the above person, it was. As soon as I spotted what was
happening, I started to heal. My cold ended almost over night.
Let me get a sever example. If someone comes up and hits you in the nose,
what does this say to you?
Does it say your important? Does it say he values your opinion?
What if he then shoots you between the eyes?
Have you been invalidated, made nothing of?
How invalidated can you be, dead?
Who Has the RIGHT to INSULT You?
Covert Hostility, Example of
How to Know Who to Trust
Let me know if there's a subject you need to know more about, a question
you'd like expanded on or anything you'd like to see me write an article
about. Happy to do so as I'm always looking for new ideas. Contact me via
this site by going here!
Listen and Guide, Someone to.
©2014 Carl Watts www.carlwattsartist.com 061014