A Tall Tale Begins
It was night, late enough that without the city lights, it would have been very dark.
The sky was crystal clear. I could see forever.
I was seven years old. A friend and I were laying on the ground as young men are apt to do and
looking at the stars.
With the infinite amount of space in my view, I asked my friend “how long do you think you will
He was ambitious and said “at least a hundred years.” He then asked me the same question.
I though about it and then I lied to him. I said probably two or three hundred.
I knew he wouldn't believe that answer. I figured he would think I was exaggerating. My estimation
of his reaction was accurate. We change the subject.
But back to his question. Why did I lie to him?
I lied because I didn't want him to think I was crazy. My real answer was I would live forever.
At the time, I don't think I knew the word immortality but I knew the concept.
I was enough myself to know that I would never die. To some extent, I knew I was not my body
which might not last a hundred years.
That conversation was put away into memory and forgotten.
There were things I didn't want to remember, things better left alone. Still my past had an impact
on my present even at the ripe age of seven years old.
I was hiding. I didn't realize this for many many years but I know that to be true now.
Its funny how you chose to not know some things while knowing others. Memory is very selective
meaning you definitely have control over them.
At school, I would avoid speaking in front of the class even from my desk. I would get sick to avoid
reading aloud. I didn't want to draw attention to myself.
I painted my bike black so I wouldn't be seen. Luckily I didn't get ran over!
While I became more confident, the hiding continued until I was 68 years old. I no longer hide.
There were some benefits to hiding, I was a loner. What that meant is I didn't hang with the
popular people. I also didn't associate with the unpopular people either.
How I benefited was I didn't do drugs like many of my classmates did. I also didn't smoke cigarettes.
To a degree, being a loner helped me get an education.
In school, once I got over making trouble from not understanding subjects, I started reading
I had a huge reality on the stories and the adventures.
Its often been said that science fiction is future. I completely agree but even more strongly, I
believe it was the past. So much of what I read rang true to me. I was enthralled.
One summer in high school, I read every scifi book in my library and was working my way through
the short story collections.
Educationally, I was excellent in science and math from my reading. I was miserable at the
humanities, especially English.
By the time I was in the military, I realized I was searching for some answers about life.
I went to the library and checked out every book on memory. I can't say I read every word in all
twenty three or so books but I did realize something.
Not a single author knew what memory was or how it worked.
There were lots of gimmicks to help you remember things. Those mechanical tricks helped on
names and other trivial information. But there was no information on memory.
Where and how is memory stored? How can you lose a memory only to regain it?
There were theories and none what were proven nor sounded true. So I laid that bit of research
aside for many years.
I turned to all the various self-help, self-betterment books and activities.
While in Viet Nam, I practice being a Christian (my Mom tried to raise me to be a Christian). I read
the Bible at length. I prayed.
For a while, being completely irresponsible and expecting God to handle everything, I was happy.
Soon reality set in. God wasn't solving my problems in life and there was no reason to think that
So I continued my research into various other self-help books and activities. Being a voracious
reader, I went through many books.
I tried transcendental meditation. I gave it several months of constant practice. The result was I
could sit quietly and comfortably in a semi-dark room and repeat a mindless set of sounds. But, I
was getting nowhere and again, the problems of my life were not being solved. TM
(transcendental meditation) is a fraud in my opinion.
I tried self-hypnosis. I put a lot of effort and time into the practice. The end result was nothing. In
my opinion, self-hypnosis is a bigger fraud than TM.
At one point, I had a doctor try to hypnotize me. Fortunately he failed to succeed.
Hypnosis is dangerous. It can ruin a persons sanity. It can cause physical problems by deranging
The practitioner doesn't understand what he is dealing with and hypnotism doesn't work on
everyone. It can do grave harm the practitioner can not correct.
Still I searched for answers. The books were numerous and ideas were interesting. Many required
belief or faith. Not seeing any truth in the books, faith was not to be found either.
Eventually I found a book with answers that made sense. When applied the information did
produce results as stated.
I was excited. I pursued the subject and the accumulated results are more than I ever expected,
more than I could have imagined.
You see, we are not supposed to know the answers. We are not supposed to understand. We are
not supposed to be free.
We are enslaved by economic oppression. Trapped by a constant danger and turmoil, we hardly
have time to raise our heads to look around. “It's all bad and dangerous!”
To Be Continued....
There's a lot more to tell but that's for another page :-)
Oh, by the way, that immortality I mentioned, it's true. With knowledge comes power.
The Way To Happiness.
I use The Way To Happiness as a moral guide in my day to day life. It is not a religious text. The
people I know that have read it, all agree with its precepts.
You might give it a try. You can watch the videos on my site about them or go to their site. They
are very well done.
If you need gentle assistance, contact me. I am trained in resolving conflicts very successfully.
Helping someone spot what condition(s) and what the solutions are to handle them is exactly
what I do in life.
Improving the conditions of others is my destination and purpose in life. A little true knowledge can
go a long way. I do not ask that you believe anything!
Routinely I say #EverythinWill_B_OK!I believe that is true!
Also, “A person is only as valuable as he aids others in their games of survival!”
Quoting myself :-)
Feel Free to Communicate with Me!
I am open to communication. Email me Carl @ carlwattsartist .com (remove spaces. Call me and
leave a message 818_400_2035.
Let me know if there's a subject you need to know more about, a question you'd like expanded on
or anything you'd like to see me write an article about. Happy to do so as I'm always looking for
new ideas. Contact me via the above.
"Listen and Guide, Someone to."
"Drifting or Driving"
©2017 Carl Watts www.carlwattsartist.com 092317 @Poet_Carl_Watts